Sept 6

Another Sunday on the books, September long weekend, and time is ticking away. My brother from another mother has time ticking away on him. Grasping at shadows and light he is lost. I want to find him, to help him come back to us.

Delirium is what they have said it is. Held down by his mind and his body, I want to bring him back to the real world. A journey that is his and I don’t know the way, he doesn’t either. Doctors and nurses practice medicine on him. They try different pills and potions, looking for a light in the tunnel of despair. I held his hand and looked into his eyes. Searching for a sign, a light, an awareness. I know he is there, I want to find a way.

I went to the hospital to see one of my dearest friends. He had surgery to amputate his foot halfway to the knee. The medical experts leave this to the direst needs. His pain from poor circulation brought on by a lifetime of diabetes has led to this path of desperation. The physical toll that this disease has taken on my friend has worn him down and weakened him He is the strongest man I know. Now we hope and pray this strength will see him through this darkest hour. I fear for his future.

The surgery was not a success. The physical success was one thing, the emotional and mental price has yet to be tallied. Right now he is losing the battle for his mind. It breaks my heart and fills me with anxiety and fear for my friend. The ICU is filled with the sickest of people and my brother, my buddy and my compatriot is there, lost inside himself. The humans that play god have done the most they can; now we pray and hope he can return from wherever he has gone.

All my petty problems and issues feel worthless. I have no problems compared to the poor souls in the Intensive care ward. I have it easy compared to my best friend that is lying there. I want so much to walk in that door and see his smiling face. I will go back tomorrow and hold his hand again. I don’t care that I shouldn’t hold his hand. I don’t care what anybody thinks, I will do my best to bring him back to us. I will do what I can and send out many positive thoughts and prayers of love.

Nothing else matters. Please bring my friend home,