February 27, 2022

Payback time.

I think my parents that raised me are looking down from heaven and laughing. Ok maybe they wouldn’t be that cruel to laugh at me, but I’m sure they appreciate the irony. After what I put them through when I was sixteen they are surely appreciating what frustrations my daughter is giving me now that she is sixteen.

And she is a lot better kid than I was.

It was 7 am on Saturday and we made a deal that she would come skiing with me on a Saturday we were together. I poked my head into her room and tried to sound as cheerful as possible – even though that can be hard at 7 in the morning.

“Good morning sweetie, it’s time to get up to go skiing. I’d like to leave at 9,” I said to my sleeping beauty hiding under her blankets.

“Hmmm, pfft. I don’t want to go skiing.” Was her muffled reply as she pulled the blanket over her head.

“Come on hon, we don’t have a lot of chances to ski. Let’s go, it’ll be fun.” I felt my frustration creep in, I knew this was going to be a battle.

“No thanks. You go.”

“Just get up, I will come to get you in a bit. It will be fun, besides you promised to come with me, we’ve been planning it.” I had a feeling this wasn’t going to go the way I wanted it to. Why didn’t she want to ski anymore? I bought her the pass and new skis… Just let it go and breathe. 

Before I got more frustrated I went down the stairs and grabbed a coffee.

An hour later I was back at it, trying to wake the teenaged dead. Futile perhaps was an understatement.

“Good morning sunshine, please get up we need to get going. It would be nice to get to the mountain by 11.” I tried to keep the pleading sound from my voice.

“No thanks, Dad I don’t want to go skiing.” Came her muffled reply.

“Come on the honey, you promised. We have only gone once this year and that was a disaster. You said we could make up for it and there aren’t very many Saturdays left this ski season.” I was getting frustrated now, what could I say to convince this lump of lazy teen to get out of bed and come have fun – how could I force her to have fun? I already knew the answer to that question.

“I never promised it would be today, you go I want to stay in bed. It’s going to be cold.” 

“You did promise, and it won’t be cold, let’s try your new socks and gloves.” My frustration mounted. She didn’t want to do anything these days except stare at her stupid cell phone. Man, I hate the phone.

“I don’t want to ski Dad, I want to see my boyfriend.” 

“Well, you can’t stay here so you can go stay at your mom’s if you don’t want to come.” I was getting more frustrated by the second. It was at that point I said something stupid, I wish I could learn to just shut up and walk away, “If you don’t come you can pay me back for your pass.”

“You shouldn’t have bought me one.” My daughter’s voice came back a bit louder and defiant.

“I asked and you said yes, that’s why you took Saturdays off. Come on kid please…” I knew it was going nowhere but I so wanted my daughter to participate in life, didn’t she know what she was missing?

“Just let me sleep, I don’t want to ski.”

“Please come with me, it will be fun.” Begging wasn’t working, threats were backfiring, what could I do to convince her that she was missing out on a day that we could never get back?

“Dad it will be fun next time. I just don’t feel like it today.” With that my darling daughter turned over and made it clear I was dismissed.

I had lost.

Truly we both lost but it would take her a few years to realize it – if ever.

“Ok. I give up, you can go to your mom’s. Krista and I will go up and stay at the hill for a few days so you might as well go there a couple of days early.” I gave up the fight. Was I punishing her for not wanting to ski? Was that fair?

Things could be much worse than my daughter not wanting to ski with her dad. I knew inside there was no reason to be so upset. She didn’t know how lucky she was to have a family that could afford to take her skiing, to go to places like Mexico. Part of me thinks she’s spoiled. But realistically I’m glad I can spoil her. Maybe that’s why I’m so frustrated when I was young my family didn’t have an opportunity to go skiing, I had to pay for it myself. We had four TV channels growing up and the internet was something out of Star Trek. 

Now today’s youth has it all handed to them on a silicone platter. Covid has thrown a new curve into the mix, now they are more reliant on technology than ever before.

I am very glad I grew up when I did. I can’t imagine the sensory overload and stress our youth is exposed to. We snuck Playboy and Penthouse magazine and smoked homegrown weed, and did magic mushrooms on a Saturday night. Now the kids have a device that fits in their hands and they can watch any amount of porn from anywhere in the world. And the weed is tens times more potent and ecstasy and numerous other designer drugs are available.

I’m so thankful my daughter doesn’t do any of those things – I hope. The signs aren’t there, she is a straight-A student and I hope she can stay on that path. Covid has certainly made life that much more complicated in an already crazy world.

I just wish my kid would put the phone down and come skiing again. 

How can I get her skiing again? How do I get her to let go of the phone and embrace the outside world we are in. 

Do you have kids? Do you have any ideas? I know a ski buddy would help, is there a place that our youth can connect in the real world, away from the phones? Please comment below if you have any suggestions.

I’m just a dad trying to cope with a digital world that has been rocked by the coronaverse.