October 13

I went down the rabbit hole today. I made the mistake of watching the news and heard Trump brag about healing so fast from Covid19. It made me sick; I couldn’t believe that he said he should kiss everyone at his rally. It’s hard enough to imagine that he is having rallies in the first place.

I posted on facebook my feelings about Trump. I vented how sick I was of the way he acts and hoped that he would lose the election so he would just go away.

I didn’t think it would cost me a friend.

Facebook, twitter, instagram have all poisoned our society. They have created discord and a disconnect even while they connected us. Now I feel the strain and division that has overtaken much of our world these days. It is an election during a pandemic that has disrupted our lives. Both threaten to tear us apart at our foundations. It isn’t even an election I have a vote in.

It’s absurd how the American election has taken over the media narrative. Worse than that is the way it has taken a grip on people’s attitudes and relationships. I wait holding my breath for it to be over. As a Canadian, I sit on the sidelines watching the car crash south of the border and hope everyone survives.

I wonder what our world will look like at Christmas.

After the election, then what? The divisions created by this election in the coronaverse are deep and raw. Divisions that are far worse than ever before. Some people call the pandemic a hoax, others are deeply afraid of it. In the centre of the storm are two candidates that are failing to unite their people. Failing to inspire, these geriatric mouthpieces exchange ineptitude. Neither truly represents the people of the country they desire to lead. By Christmas, we may have some answers, some clarity on what direction the USA is headed.

Until then I continue to watch the car wreck. I continue to get sucked into the news, and the rabbit hole. I wish my friend never got so hijacked, so offended that I didn’t share the same view. So angry he unfriended me on Facebook and even blocked me. I guess it’s too easy on social media to be disconnected, real people become some sort of avatars.

Strange days indeed.

Now as the world continues its slow-motion implosion I need to look inwards. I need to get healthy. I have procrastinated long enough. At fifty years of age, it is time to grow up and look after myself.

I am tired of being in pain. I am tired of being tired.

So I crawled out of the rabbit hole and I went to the swimming pool. I used to swim laps to get in shape; now in the coronaverse the swimming pool is a new experience. I needed to make an appointment to go for a lap swim, there is no public swimming yet.

When I arrived at the pool I was informed the locker room was closed. They expected me to arrive wearing my swimsuit under my clothes. I think they told me, it just never sank in. I was allowed to change in the washroom and told to come ready next time. Then they gave me a milk crate for my stuff and I set it beside the pool.

Forty-five minutes and twenty-ish laps later I emerged from the pool, refreshed and energized. It is a first step on a road I know will be difficult; a road that I need to travel in order to thrive.

There are many steps to be taken. I hope to lose ten pounds by Christmas and another fifteen by my birthday in April. Hope is not the way to get there though. Hard work and discipline will be my path to success. Step one was sober October; a serious reduction in drinking. Step two will be regular exercise, and step three is to eat right.

There is no point in living the dream if I don’t live very long. I will try to stay out of the rabbit hole. I will walk, ride, and swim my way back into shape. I know round is a shape, just not a good one for a long life.