April 10, 2024 Snowbee

I emerge into consciousness surrounded by a cacophony of mewls and engulfed by balls of fur. My sight is dim and I can barely hear. With every passing minute, the light grows brighter and I feel the warmth from my mommy. Searching for nourishment I find her body and drink from her bosom.

There are so many sounds, I feel confused and afraid. As each day passes, I feel love and safety flow around me.

Then one day strangers appear. The girl is full of energy and so big. The man stands smiling down at me. I try to run away but the girl picks me up and cradles me in her arms. I’m afraid, but she holds me tight. The next thing I know, the world around me is moving, changing.

Mommy? Where did my mommy go? I’m alone with these strange humans.

Then I see her, and I feel warm and safe once more. I climb on her lap. She becomes my human. I stay on her lap whenever I can.

Krista is her name and she is mine. She’d do anything for me. We snuggle and cuddle whenever possible. The little girl is still there and so is the man. They scare me, he’s loud and she keeps holding me when I don’t want her too. Still, I know they love me and sometimes I even snuggle with them. Sometimes I allow them to pet me.

But it is Krista who’s mine.

Life is good with my humans. We play with string and I run and chase it. Sometimes I go outside to hunt. I bring home gifts for my human, why isn’t she wasn’t happy when I bring the mice inside the house. Doesn’t she understand it means I love her?

Seasons change. The girl gets bigger, and she’s quieter now. My Krista stays safe, I crawl on her lap and watch her work. When she gets too busy working I have to remind her I’m there by climbing on her desk and stepping in front of the big screen with all the words and pictures on it. She should pet me, love me, hold me. She’s mine.

At night I find my safe spot beside her. The big man comes and lies with us. In the night, I let him pet me and even rub my belly. At times when he pets me he touches me in the wrong spot and I let him know I’m not happy. I’m not trying to hurt him, just give him a nip to let him know who’s boss. My human, Krista can touch me anywhere but not him.

Life’s good and I’m happy.

I wish we could go on like this forever. But cats don’t live forever.

Out of nowhere is a flash of pain, and my brain surges. I run.

Right into the tall post, it falls and crashes. Such sounds, and pain. My human comes running and picks me up. I feel a bit better, but everything seems strange.

The world starts to fade. Weakness takes away my energy. I can’t run as fast anymore. Darkness clouds my sights. I can’t see as far. Everything dims.

Where is my Krista? I can sense her there but things aren’t the same. Everything is dark.

So lost. Nothing is real anymore. Confused, I try to find my way. I feel her hands around me. Distant shapes enter my vision. So strange. I can’t understand what’s happening. Krista, where are you? There you are… hold me I’m fading away.

Everything is fading away.

Such darkness now. He holds me too. I feel the love. The sadness. Sometimes I can sense the food is near. I eat what I can when they hold it in front of me. What is happening to me? I can hardly think. I can still feel the love around me though. The girl is not a little girl anymore. She’s a woman and she holds me. I can sense the concern in her.

The love is there. It’s all I know now – Love.

It’s getting darker every day. He brings me to the bed and holds me between her and him. What is her name again? Krista, oh my human Krista, I don’t know how long I can stay with you.

I’ve heard cats have nine lives. Why did I lose mine and I’m only eleven?

I can’t move anymore. Just lie here and wait.

So lost, I’m losing control of everything.

The girl comes again. She holds me and I feel her love flow through me. He’s there too. So is my Krista. They are calling to me, they love me. I must let them go.

More strange movements around me now. Nothing feels real anymore. Just a blur. So dark. A sharp pain and then everything is warm and quiet. I can sense them beside me.

I feel their love. I hear her voice fade in the distance. “Goodbye Snowbee.”

I’m at peace, warm and comfortable. Safe.

RIP Snowbee. We will miss you.