April 15, 2022

Pain seared through Louise’s body and racked the fibre of her being. It was agony like never before. Yet somehow she knew it would end soon. 

The feeling came in waves, like a storm breaking on the shore. When the pain ended she knew it would be a beautiful beginning. 

But a new ache would fill her soul afterward. Her physical anguish disappeared from her memory like a phantom. Her mental pain would last much longer. 

A pain that was relieved thirty-five years later. 

At that moment it would be all worthwhile. But in the moment she was in all she could think of was the next wave and surviving it. With each wave, it was getting closer. 

The birth of her first child. A child she never thought she would see again.

Louise and Don made the difficult decision months before. As that day came she was wracked with doubt. How could she let go of this tiny being inside her? How could she raise this child when she was only a child herself?

She knew the answer.

Life did go on. It was hard for the first while, they knew they made the right choice. But that didn’t make it any easier. 

The two teens grew into adults. In those moments of pain and glory Louise grew more than she knew and so did Don. Yet they were still kids with a life ahead of them. 

They would stay together for the birth of three more children, two girls, and a boy. In the back of her mind, she wondered whatever happened to her first-born child… She knew he was out there somewhere. 

Life wasn’t easy for Louise and Don. They struggled with addiction and with doubt. Dirty needles and a dirty world haunted them. After years of struggle, they got clean, but the after-effects of their youth and addiction would cost more than they imagined. 

Don went back to school and trained to become a teacher. The struggle was real and he managed to find work and find his way. They both found their way to sobriety, it was a battle that continued for years after. 

But Louise was lost.

So she left and went on her own to find her way. 

They tried to stay together for the kids, but inside they knew it wasn’t working anymore. They had grown apart, when he strayed she knew it was time to move on.

Time to change her life. 

But change is hard and life wasn’t easy. She did her best to raise the kids but her own challenges overshadowed the lives of her three children. When it was time to take on the full responsibility to care for her youngest son she couldn’t, she knew he was in good hands with Don and his new family.

In the back of her mind she always wondered where was the first born son she gave up all those years ago?

Eventually she found love and found her way. She moved into an idyllic place beside the river near the border with the USA by Kingsgate. For a time she found peace and prosperity.

Louise found her voice and began teaching others to sing. She made peace with her kids and with herself.

It was time to find peace with her past. Somewhere out there was the son she never knew. Somewhere…

With the prompting of her kids and her friends she began the search. 

Meanwhile on the other side of the Rocky Mountains a father began a search of his own.

A son who was not looking for something would find out it was looking for him all along. Then came the call and the voice on the other end of the line.

“Hello?” His voice was somehow familiar, yet she’d never heard it before. 

“Hi,” Louise began tentatively. “I know it may seem crazy but this is your mother.” 

Three days later Cal and Louise stood looking into each other’s eyes on the banks of the Kootenay River. It was a reunion thirty-five years in the making, one that neither expected or planed for. A meeting they both were very grateful to have. 

There was a connection between them that transcended time. It was a connection created in blood and in the very base of their souls. 

It was a day that changed both their lives. 

Now Louise lies in her bed in hospice in Victoria. Her battle with cancer all but lost. She is paying the ultimate price for her addictions all those years ago. She knew her liver could suffer from the Hep C and from the chemicals which filtered through it. Her body too weak to fight, she lies resigned to her fate. 

Fully at peace with herself at last.