December 23, 2021 Ready for xmas?

Time marches on and the days have begun to get longer. Christmas is just around the corner. I went to the mall with my daughter and spent time wandering aimlessly, hoping gift ideas would suddenly jump in front of me.

People ask me if I’m ready for Christmas – I’m not.

But that is nothing new. Except this year, I’m having a harder time finding the Christmas spirit. Maybe it’s because my daughter is now a teenager and the magic is gone for her as well. Santa is now that mythical creature and gifts have become about greed and not love. My kid wants braces and a car for Christmas… I would have never dreamed of asking for presents worth thousands of dollars when I was young. 

Our society has sure changed from the days of wanting the latest ColecoVision or TRS 80 games for Christmas. 

Wandering the mall reminds me of what else has changed since I was fifteen. Hell, things have changed so much in the last two years it’s hard to recognize the world we are in. 

Now it’s the people that wander around without a mask on that look like creatures from another world. Two years ago if you were at a mall and saw someone wearing a mask you would have thought there was something wrong with them. Now, only a short time later, we see the people showing their faces and think of them as the unwell – at least mentally. 

Strange days indeed.

It has been nineteen months since the pandemic took over the world. So many days of uncertainty and fear. Every time we think we are moving toward the end, they move the goal line. 

So now I wander the mall of our city and see the people looking for something. What are they looking for? I know I was looking for the perfect gift for my wife, for my kid. But there is no perfect anything right now. Time flies away and I try to grasp the moments and hold on to them. 

I could just as easily hold onto a snowflake as it flutters in the wind.

Only when time mounts up can I hold it like a snowball in a storm. 

I want to throw it all away and go back to the days before the snowstorm. Like so many others wandering the mall, the only thing I can hold onto is my own sanity. 

I guess that’s why I’m not ready for Christmas. It feels like we are still living in a dream.

I hope to wake up one day and this bad disaster movie will be over. 

Two more days till Christmas, for my wife, my daughter, and my sanity I shake off the melancholy and find the happy place. I must remember that I am living the dream.

The dream is what we make it.